resurrection

and I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I ever had. lyrics from a power point this morning at the new heights Easter service.

last night I dreamt. I don't know why but I don't normally dream, or at least I don't remember. but last night I did, and I think that I’ll remember this one for a while.

I was walking along the sidewalk with someone, I don't know who. we came across two young men in an argument. it quickly broke out into a fistfight just as we were passing by. I tried to break it up. I did. one man ran away, and the other was trying to hide in some store or something, but I was blocking his way. the police were coming, I could hear the sirens. "I’ve gotta go!" he screamed at me.

"you're going to jail." I said with a smirk.

and then something happened that has never happened in my dreams before. the man quickly, without warning, pulled a silver handgun from his jeans. I was shoving him away at the time so we were right up close. I had no reaction time. he shot me once in the heart. immediately I fell to my knees and he ran off.

I remember thinking, 'I didn't know a gunshot sounded like that' the pain was so real. I clutched my hand over the wound and started faintly saying to the people around me, "I’ve been shot, I’ve been shot." no one noticed. finally as the pain worsened and my throat gurgled I was able to grab someone by the shirt sleeve and say one more time, "I’ve been shot. call 911."

but it was too late. I was seconds away from death.

so I prayed, "Jesus Christ, my savior, forgive me for my sins..."

and that's as far as I got. I woke up with the pain from the bullet wound still lingering. I was clutching my heart. I think I was in tears. when I realized that I was alive, that somehow through some miracle Jesus had taken the bullet out of my heart, I could do nothing but thank Him.

Jesus, thank you that you've concurred my death. Thank you that for at least this moment, I am alive. Please help me to live each day, knowing that I could die the next. Help me Lord to live with abandon. And never let me forget that Sunday morning, when you rose from death and I died just to be reborn.